Clint Dempsey to wear eyepatch in match versus Portugal

The captain of the USA Men's National Team, Clint Dempsey, has announced he'll be wearing an eyepatch in his next contest versus Portugal. News of the decision comes days after suffering a broken nose in Team USA's first match against Ghana.

"I didn't want to wear a facemask because it doesn't look manly at all," said Dempsey. "However, an eyepatch will provide all the protection my face needs and it makes me look like a badass at the same time."

"...I'm coming for you, Ronaldo..."

The manager, Jürgen Klinsmann, tried to reason with Dempsey.

"We tried to talk him out of wearing that silly thing, but he just doesn't understand. This isn't a video game where an eyepatch gives you facial armor! Now he won't be able to see out of that eye either! How is he going to shoot with 1 eye and 1 nostril?"

The USA faces off against Portugal in their second game in Manaus on Sunday at 6:00PM Eastern Time.