Activision announces new Call of Duty title-- setting to deviate from all other CoD games

Activision announced it's newest Call of Duty title today, Call of Duty: Da Hood. In collaboration with Treyarch, the newest game is unlike any other Call of Duty title to date.

The game's story will take place in early 1990s Los Angeles circling the events around the time of the 1992 Los Angeles riots. Treyarch tells us that campaign will take us to a variety of locations around the LA area including Watts, Long Beach, Compton, and Downtown Los Angeles along with other locations including Brooklyn, NY.

To make the change from special ops combat the game is known for, Treyarch has been working on new game mechanics. As any playable gangster faction, you'll now have the ability to hold your gun at an angle up to 90 degrees. Although the ability to dual wield weapons has been removed, Treyarch has mentioned that you'll be able to hold status boosters in your left hand, such as 40s, baseball bats, and bags of drugs.

"LA is burning... someone's gotta put the fire out."
Box art concept

The game will also have an extensive multiplayer as featured in previous titles. Playable multiplayer factions will include the LAPD, Bloods, Crips, The Avenues, the National Guard, and several unannounced. To fit the era, the killstreak rewards will not only be customizable, but will also be faction specific. Killstreak rewards are rumored to include tear gas, chopper gunners, drivebys, and "40 oz juggernaut".

It is rumored that the voice acting cast will consist of figures from previous Call of Duty titles including Ice Cube, Kiefer Sutherland, and Snoop Dogg. The game's soundtrack is to feature original scores along with hits from the era including songs from NWA, Tupac, Public Enemy, and Dr. Dre.

Critics have come at the announcement with mixed feelings, some praising the title for delving into a such an original and untapped part of modern history while others are shaming it, calling it offensive and racist. The game is expected to be given an M rating for violence, drugs and alcohol use, extreme language, gore, and nudity.

News of the new title comes days after EA announced Battlefield Hardline, which is also set around cops and robbers bank heist scenarios. Call of Duty: Da Hood is set for release in November 2015.

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Facebook Inc. to acquire Facebook Inc.

In a long line of acquisitions this past year, Facebook Inc. announced their latest purchase earlier today: themselves. In a stock buyback deal, Mark Zuckerberg and several top executives in the company will purchase all of the publicly held shares and become a private company once again. Zuckerberg announced that the company will be split among the company's top executives.

Facebook has purchased many big name tech companies in the last few years including Instagram, Oculus, and WhatsApp. After months of planning and decision making with the board of directors, Zuckerberg and executives at Facebook concluded that the next best company that they can acquire is their own.

"It was a mistake to offer my company to the public," said Mark Zuckerberg. "Although we have acquired other tech firms in the past year, I think holding onto our own will be the best long-term investment. We see a lot of potential in Facebook and have an even greater vision to enhance the social and commercial experience we can bring to our users."

Facebook went public last May with an IPO of $38 per share and market capitalization of $104 billion. Now nearly a year later, it's stock price has reached $63 per share with a total market cap of $164.5 billion.

The announcement of the buyback comes as Facebook Inc. posted $2.5 billion in ad revenue and over $600 million in profit for Q1 for 2014. Facebook is to pay $70 per share and plans to finalize multi-billion dollar the deal by next Tuesday.

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Arizona Diamondbacks offer pitching contract to 50 Cent

The Arizona Diamondbacks are seeking to sign 50 Cent as a new relief pitcher. After throwing out the first pitch before the Mets-Pirates game at Citi Field on Sunday, Curtis Jackson has been taking a lot of heat from fans for throwing "one of the worst first pitches in history". However, scouts for the Diamondbacks and manager Kirk Gibson see it differently.

The Diamondbacks are currently the 2nd worst team in baseball, boasting an unimpressive record of 21-33. Additionally they have the 2nd worst team ERA, just above the Minnesota Twins. "We need to improve our pitching staff," said Gibson. "We're losing too many games due to bad pitching. I've talked with our pitching coach, Mike Harkey, and we both think that Mr. Jackson would help us win some games. Plus he'd look better in a Diamondback uniform."

Curtis Jackson throws out the first pitch
(Image Source: Yahoo!)

Despite throwing one of the worst first pitches in baseball, Gibson believes that 50 Cent's unique pitching style and throw will confuse batters into swinging at balls way outside the strike zone.

"50 will give our bullpen some much needed strength. Plus many of our players, myself included, are fans of his music, so we'd get some free concerts out of this."

The contract calls for a 2 year deal which signs 50 Cent to the Diamondback's pitching staff and gives Coca Cola the rights to advertise Vitaminwater at Chase Field for the duration. The gain in sales and stock of Coca Cola products is expected to cover 50 Cent's return to the bank again with a proposed salary of $25 million.

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Soundtrack from Disney's "Frozen" Used in Effort to Reduce School Violence

In light of the recent spike in mass murders across the country, especially in places of education, the US Department of Homeland Security has created a new subdivision directed with the placation of America's youth. The new Department of the Innovative Correction of Kids has undertook a massive effort to permeate the musical market with uplifting, anti-introversion songs in an attempt to reach out to the unloved, unattractive, and rather disgusting loners that tend to have the highest chance of causing these great tragedies. Their first effort, in the form of the new Disney movie "Frozen", has already shown to be a great success in all areas without any recent cases of violence.

A list of mass shootings in the United States
(Source: Boston.com)

Frozen's soundtrack was chosen simply for it's popular, yet uplifting songs. Songs written for the movie, such as "Conceal Don't Feel", "Frozen Heart", and "Treason" were intended to empathize with those who feel betrayed and utterly alienated from the world. This was done as an attempt to get them interested in the other songs the soundtrack has to offer. Next, with their emotional wretchedness now exposed, the movie's most iconic song "Let it Go" forces the sad individuals to expel the parts of them that society hates and simply "let it go". This is followed by a dose of "Do You Want To Build a Snowman" in an effort to show that others around the troubled individual are searching for friends too. Finally, in an emotionally suggestive state, the movie fills them with uplifting songs which suggest that they too may possibly someday be loved; "Love is an Open Door", "For the First Time in Forever", and "Onward and Upward".

"The soundtrack from 'Frozen' has made our first campaign successful," said the Director of the Department of Innovative Correction of Kids. "We never expected this to work."

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Blue food coloring used to "Keep Tahoe Blue"

Documents seized in raids conducted by the FDA in the Lake Tahoe area have revealed numerous stockpiles of blue food dye being stored in the area. Investigators were called to the scene when residents noticed members of the environmental group "Keep Tahoe Blue" transporting barrels filled with a powdery blue substances to different warehouses around the lake.

Lake Tahoe has been the subject of many environmental debates, especially with the booming tourism industry. Many new buildings have been proposed to capitalize on the boom, but many companies trying to construct more buildings around the lake have been blocked by protest.

Investigators believe that many new casinos in development around the south part of the lake were allowed to be built due to secret agreements made with the environmental watchdog group. To mitigate the pollution and prevent protests created by construction activity, the casino offered the group kickbacks and blue food coloring. The dye is similar to that used to turn the Chicago River green for St. Patrick's Day festivities and believed to be food grade safe. Sources claim that the dye was still being tested had not been deployed yet. "Keep Tahoe Blue" board and staff members are currently under investigation.

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Alarming pesticide usage causes vapor from squirting orange peels to ignite

Be careful when handling oranges. Recent viral videos are appearing showing people squeezing orange peels and igniting the vapor that comes out of them. Due to the immunity that invasive insects and weeds have gained to traditional pesticides and herbicides over the last decade, farmers have had to use new chemicals and more of them to keep the crops safe.

Some of the newer chemicals used in these products have been known to leech into the soil and get picked up by the plants themselves. With orange groves in Florida, one of these newer pesticides, which goes by the trade name "Nymph-be-Gone", is raising alarm. Used to keep orange nymphs away, the pesticide has been found within orange peels themselves. The active ingredients in the pesticide combine with the compounds and oils found in the peels to create a flammable mixture. The FDA is assembling a task force to explore this phenomenon to determine whether continued use of "nymph-be-gone" causes any immediate or long term health risks. The creator of "Nymph-be-Gone", Raid-X Farming Supplies, has yet to release a statement.

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Variant of "Knockout Game" targets those with nose piercings

A warning to all those who have a pierced septum: a new form of the "knockout game" is gaining popularity in US cities. Now unofficially known as "Grabbing the Bull", several attacks have been reported in the San Francisco Bay area, Portland, Seattle, and other major metropolitan areas.

The object of the game is simple, according to bystanders we talked to. First the game participant locates a person with a septum piercing, or "bull ring" as the game is named after. The attacker jumps on the victim's back and grabs hold of the piercing with both hands. The goal of the game is to "ride the bull" as long as possible without being thrown off. Victims of the game have suffered from injuries including  cuts, bruises, broken bones, sore back, and fractured ankles. In some cases, victims have had their piercing ripped off as their attacker is thrown off. Although no reported deaths have occurred from the game, nearly 60% of all victims have ended up in the hospital.

If you have a piecing like this, you might be in danger.
(Image Source)

"I had to take my friend to the hospital today after she got attacked. Some big dude jumped on her back and she couldn't handle him," said the friend of a victim, who's name we withheld. "I hope she doesn't get attacked again after she recovers."

Unlike the "Knockout game", "Grabbing the Bull" does not require a cameraman to take video of the action, meaning few perpetrators have been caught so far. Police are on high alert and advise anyone who has a septum piercing to avoid being out in public or to remove it until the game loses popularity.

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How many days should you wait before eating your bagel? -- Exclusive Interview

The bagel has been part of a delicious breakfast for decades. But how old should your bagel be before you bite into it? We brought in Bernie Hughes, owner of Hughes Bagels in Chicago and Marty Goldman, a finance director in Newark, NJ to weigh in on the question.

Poopbus: "Welcome to Poopbus, Bernie and Marty, it's a pleasure to have you into the studio. Let's start with Bernie. As a bakery owner, how long do you think people should wait before eating their bagels?"

Bernie: "This is an easy question. People should enjoy bagels as fresh as they can! Nothing beats a bagel fresh out of the oven!"

Poopbus: "Marty, same question."

Marty: "As a long time connoisseur of bagels, I personally think people should wait at least a day or two before chowing down. It's best to toast them before enjoying and I like to top with cream cheese and occasionally lox."

Bernie: "Nonsense Marty! A bagel is best when it is fresh! You should never think about toasting them. I only do that because I can charge people more at the store."

Marty: "Exactly my point Bernie. My strategy is to stockpile the day old bagels my local bakery sells for half price. I keep them out for 5 days, but after that I stick them in my freezer for a rainy day. I never go hungry for breakfast."

Bernie: "Oh I see what kind of person you are...... You're one of those moochers that clean my shelves after a day of waiting. I bet you'd take bagels out of my dumpster if you could!"

Marty: "Well I'm not the one who sells bagels for a living. You live in a smelly apartment while I live in a luxurious condo."

Bernie: "Who are you calling smelly, cheapskate??!?!"

It was at this point we had to stop the interview as it had turned uncivil. How old should your bagels before eating them? We don't know.

Stay tuned for the next interview from Poopbus.com

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"Drinko de Mayo" replaces "Cinco de Drinko" as second most celebrated holiday in May

Recent polls show that "Cinco de Drinko" is no longer the second most celebrated holiday in May. Previously second to Memorial Day*, "Cinco de Drinko" has lost the #2 spot to "Drinko de Mayo".

"Drinko de Mayo", literally meaning "May of Drinking", has gained popularity over the former holiday as it lasts the whole month of May instead of on one day. California grocery stores have reported increased sales of taco shells, tortillas, tortilla chips, salsa, and limes during the month and liquor stores report increased sales of Mexican beer and Tequila such as Corona and Jose Cuervo.

Popular beverages for Drink de Mayo
(Image Source: http://www.pinterest.com/ChukchansiGold/)

We interviewed Juan De Rákun of Norwalk last weekend to learn more about the holiday. We found him outside of M&P Liquor.

"I haven't celebrated Cinco de Drinko since like, 2007 man. Drinko de Mayo is the thing! Why celebrate for only one day when I can celebrate the whole month! Siesta baby wooooooooo!"

As "Drinko de Mayo" becomes more popular, "Cinco de Drinko" has started to lose popularity. In Davis, CA students at the university hosted a sit-in to protest "insensitive parties" on the weekend with dress codes including sombreros and border patrol officer uniforms. A protest in response to the original protest is scheduled to occur the first week of June after participants recover from their month-long hangovers.

*Memorial Day is the most celebrated holiday in the month of May by the number of people who participate, but "Drinko de Mayo" is the most celebrated by number of total hours.

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Clippers, Kings see huge spike in apparel sales. Offer jersey trade-in deal to new fans.

Los Angeles -- As the Los Angeles Kings and Los Angeles Clippers have improved their season performances in the last 2 years, the TEAM LA store at the Staples Center has seen thousands of dollars in increased jersey sales.

A poll taken by team store staff indicated that many of the Kings and Clippers jersey sales were made to former Los Angeles Lakers and Anaheim Ducks fans. To capitalize on the bandwagoners, the store started offering a special trade-in deal. Bring in any Bryant or Gasol Jersey and get half off on any Griffin jersey (similarly, bring in any Ducks jersey and get 50% off any Kings apparel). According to Staples Center administrators, the trade-ins will be shipped off to clothe children in need (we are assuming they'll be shipped to the same location all "Denver Broncos Superbowl XLVIII Champions" apparel is sent off to).

Image Source: LA Kings

"I've always been a Kings fan," said one shopper we saw walking out with an unmarked Kings jersey. "I found the Selänne jersey at a yard sale this morning, honest. I've never been a Ducks fan. I just wanted to save money."

"Kobe who?" said one customer walking in with a Bryant jersey.

Staples Center staff expects a surge of trade-ins over the weekend after the Kings eliminated the Ducks in NHL playoffs after a final score of 6-2 in the 7th game of the series. Clippers jersey sales are expected to be high despite being eliminated in the NBA playoffs and controversial remarks from owner Donald Sterling.

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Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 actually an underwater base prototype

Officials at Boeing admitted yesterday that the 777-200ER used in Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is still operational. The aircraft's disappearance in March was part of a test to see if a new experimental underwater base could be possible. The 777 was modified to withstand pressures that can be found on the bottom of the seafloor. Although no one knows exactly where the plane is, officials say that all passengers on board the flight are alive and well at the bottom of the ocean.

"Much like how we are working on designing more efficient spacecraft, we must also understand the need for more efficient deep sea exploration," said a Boeing official. Our modified aircraft will act as the predecessor to underwater cities seen in fiction, such as Rapture from the Bioshock series."

All occupants of the flight assumed to be alive
(Photo credit: Malaysia Airlines)

Events on the day of the aircraft's disappearance were designed to keep foreign governments from discovering the secret project. It is believed that the Malaysian government and Malaysia Airlines were both compensated for their participation in the experiment.

"As long as the engines are still intact, the plane will be able to surface and travel much like a submarine."

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Clippers owner Donald Sterling offered new job

After being banned from the NBA due to racist remarks, Clippers owner Donald Sterling was given an offer by the United States government. If he chooses to sell the Clippers, government officials say that President Barack Obama will appoint him as of Director of ICE. ICE, short for United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement, has been under pressure in the past decade due to increased illegal immigration from the Mexican border.

Mr. Sterling may soon hold a government position
(Image Source: Forbes)

Despite his racist remarks toward blacks, Barack Obama says that Sterling is the perfect candidate for the job thanks to his real estate experience. "Sterling knows how to evict people. He can apply the same principle to illegal aliens."

Sterling made most of his money as a real estate mogul, owning several apartment complexes in LA county. Rumors say he once harassed and evicted an elderly black tenant. Several lawsuits have been brought against his "unfair" housing practices in the past.

It is unknown whether Sterling is interested in the cabinet position, but it is believed that the Senate would approve his appointment thanks to Obama's endorsement.

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UC Berkeley Announces Progressive "Eighth" System

In a recent statement released by chancellor Nicholas B. Dirks, University of California Berkeley will be undergoing a change that all of its students will learn to cherish.  After realizing the efficiency and superiority of the rest of UC's quarter system, innovative and progressive UC Berkeley decided to take the leap from semesters to a new "Eighth" system.

UC Berkeley Chancellor Nicholas B. Dirks

(Image Source: http://chancellor.berkeley.edu/)

Students will be happy to hear that each week they can expect another midterm before completing the eighth within five weeks before finals.  "I can't wait for this new system! Here we are dragging out our learning experience, when we could be in and out of our classes within 5 weeks," stated Candice Sherman, sophomore.

With this exciting and revolutionary breakthrough in the way schools cram information down students' throats on the cusp, one can only expect to see an even greater influx of applications.  Dirks stated, "If you thought you were going to have a hard time gaining admission into one of America's most sought after academic institutions before, you certainly have less of a chance now.  Many prospective students will have an even higher probability of facing the disappointment of their parents/guardians before the beginning of next year's academic calendar."

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Part 3 of The Hobbit to be split into 5 movies

Peter Jackson has announced that he will be splitting the final movie of The Hobbit series, "The Battle of Five Armies", into five separate full-length feature films. Jackson and Newline Cinema agreed to make the split after Jackson cited a need for more screen time.

"There was a lot of good footage we took that we didn't want to go to waste. We initially thought splitting 'The Battle of Five Armies' into 3 movies would have been enough, but we realized that the two new movies created were also not long enough, so we split those once again."

Bilbo's adventure will be longer than initially anticipated
(Image source: IMDb)

Fans of the book and movie series are not surprised by this decision, as they know Jackson's previous works in the Lord of the Rings series cutout a lot of extra footage.

"I love The Hobbit and I cannot wait to watch the last 5 movies," said one moviegoer. "I can't wait to give Newline Cinema more of my money!" said one ecstatic fan.

Initially created to cover Bilbo's relations with the dwarves and more from the novel, the new movies will expand upon the initial wishes of fans and followers of the book series. None of the movies have been given titles yet, but Jackson hints that the 4th movie of the new five part saga will have "surprises for book readers."

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Elon Musk to build "Iron Man" suit

Billionaire Elon Musk has secretly been developing an "Iron Man" suit for the past 6 years. The eccentric CEO of Telsa and SpaceX has been compared to fictional character Tony Stark by multiple news outlets in the past. Now he plans to make Stark's alter ego his reality. After seeing the hit film in theaters back in 2008, Musk began developing the suit at the Tesla factory in Fremont, CA.

Elon Musk's transformation to Iron Man
(Image Source: Marvel)

Since many of the technologies used in Stark's suit are unavailable in our reality, Musk has adapted the design to fit our currently available technology. Reports indicate that Musk will have many components from the SpaceX assembly facility shipped to Fremont for suit assembly.

To power his suit, the design calls for the use of lithium ion battery packs, identical to those found in the Telsa Model S. Musk plans to make use of the many "supercharger" stations Telsa Motors is placing around the country to keep his suit powered via battery swap. In case of emergency, the suit will be equipped with backup solar panels for charging on the fly (likely borrowed from SolarCity warehouses).

Stark's Musk's suit will be large enough to accommodate the Model S battery pack and Falcon 9 rocket engines
(Image Source: Telsa) 

For flight capability, the suit will use miniaturized Falcon 9 rocket engines. The suit's construction material will allow it to withstand speeds above Mach 3 and potentially allow spaceflight. Engineering is nearing completion and construction of the first prototype is set to start spring of 2015.

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Fans of Rap Music Videos more likely to "Pimp their Ride"

A new study has been released by researchers at the University of Phoenix. The study shows that those who frequently watch rap music videos, especially those from 1990s artists, are more likely to "pimp out" their vehicle.

A total of 400 people from the LA metro area between ages 18 and 40 were selected for the study. Subjects who watched rap videos more than once a day were the most likely to modify their vehicles by far. Vehicle modified had many alterations including lowered chassis, hydraulics modifications, and "bumpin' sound systems loud enough to blow the clothes off women".

"...can't have a cookout without my lowrider" -- Frankie J.
(Image Source: Video for Peace Treaty by Kam)

"I love rap. I love whole culture. I just can't have a cookout without my lowrider," says Frankie J., one of the subjects in the study. "...I just love watching them bounce."

Experts site that the boom in rap music video popularity has been good for Auto Body Shop owners, who have seen a 40% increase in sales and a 90% increase in cash payments over the last decade. "Business is good. We get about 3 new customers and many repeat customers every month," says Armando G., owner of 'Chek It' Body Works in Carson, CA.

As rap music continues to grow in popularity, the upward trend of car modification is expected. "Rap music isn't dying. This ain't no disco." -- anonymous participant.

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Suspect in solar plant arson case arrested

CHP officers have arrested Dr. Ivan A. Burnett, a technician at the newly opened Ivanpah Solar Power Facility. The solar plant, located 40 miles away from Las Vegas, is under investigation for being the source of the fire that occurred in the 8000 block of W Russell Rd in Las Vegas.

Witnesses say that the fire started when a directed beam of light came from the southeast, setting the roofs of the many buildings on fire. The flash of light was brief, but it was enough to turn the block into a firestorm.
"The only nearby places capable of producing such a beam of light are The Strip and the solar plant.... and The Strip isn't bright during the day."

Investigators say that coworkers believe that Dr. Burnett had been acting suspicious around the plant and was playing around with magnifying glasses in his free time. A final report of the event has not been issued, but it is believed that Dr. Burnett has modified the focal point of the solar tower to fire a massive beam of directed sunlight toward the Las Vegas area. The magnifying glass used has not been found, but a puddle of molten glass was found at the base of the tower hours after the fires were reported.

Ivanpah Solar plant officials have declined to comment on the matter but are being cooperative with the investigation.

Investigators believe the focal point on the tower was modified
(Image Source: http://www.brightsourceenergy.com/)

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Dr. Dre poised to expand philanthropic efforts after selling "Beats by Dre"

Hip hop icon and future billionaire Dr. Dre will start doing more philanthropic work once the sale of "Beats by Dre" to Apple Inc. is complete. His first plan of action is to giveback to the intercity community that raised him. Plans are on the drawing board to empower youth through urban farming, starting with his birthplace of Compton, CA.

The so called "Beets by Dre Foundation" is designed to help those living in the intercity to have access to fresh fruits and vegetables. With soaring land prices in urban areas, there are few farms left to provide fresh produce to local stores or farmers markets. Dr. Dre understands that without an apple a day, intercity folks will be sicker more often, resulting in more visits to doctors and clinics. "It's time to eat healthy. Doctor's orders."

It's rumored that Snoop Dogg will be assisting with growing efforts in the Los Angeles area and Eminem will represent the expansion of the movement to Detroit, MI. Unconfirmed sources tell us that when Dr. Dre was asked why he did not start this earlier, he is quoted saying, "I took my time to perfect the beet."

Dr Dre will soon provide fresh produce to intercity residents
(Image Source: http://beetsbydre.tumblr.com/)

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iPhone 7 to be significantly larger than previous generation models

Following the upward size trend from the previous iPhone models, the iPhone 7 will be bigger than any of its predecessors Apple representatives say.

"We've decided to take the iPhone 7 to a much larger scale than previously imagined. With the overwhelming positive response we've gotten from the iPhone 5, we've decided to throwback our design to the 1950s, when computers filled entire buildings. We've design the iPhone 7 to fit every household."

The new iPhone will be much bigger than this (Source: http://www.apple.com)

Sources say that the iPhone 7 will have variable screen sizes, ranging from 6 to 100 sq ft. Not only will the battery life be much greater than that of the iPhone 5, but the iPhone 7 will have its own electric generator and will ship with an 18 wheeler for times the user gets tired of carrying it around.

"We know our iPhone users have built a lot of muscle carrying around their phones. We feel that this is the next step up."

A price range has not been established yet, but we assume it will also exceed the previous iPhone models.

What we can imagine the new iPhone to be like (Source: http://physics.illinois.edu/)

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Do Fast Food places intentionally sell their spicy food cheap?

Nearly every fast food restaurant has a value/dollar/discount menu where they offer some small items or treats for cheap. For only being as cheap as $0.99, the profit margin is very small, if not negative. How are the restaurants supposed to make money?

Enter the drink menu. Drinks have the largest profit margin of any item on a menu. Buying a drink is essentially buying diluted drink syrup. You're paying for water with added flavor and carbonation. Now how do the restaurants encourage drink sales? One way they do it is combo meals, which is pretty standard throughout the industry. But what would encourage a cheapskate buying from the dollar menu to buy a drink?

Some of these items are loaded with spicy sauce or breading, examples like the Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Carl's Jr. and 2 Tacos from Jack In The Box. Now unless you're used to eating these kinds of food, you're likely going to need a drink to washout the burning feeling in your mouth. Most Americans have no tolerance for spicy food, so intentionally making these menu items spicy almost guarantees a drink sale.

How can you avoid being caught in this trap? If you live in a state which mandates handing out free water cups, exercise your right to free refreshments. That way both your mouth will thank you for washing out the spiciness and your wallet will thank you for not wasting $1.69 on beverage syrup.

Image Source: jackinthebox.com

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Are Old People Breathing Your Air?

Yes, the world has plenty of O₂ molecules floating around, but do old people deserve to take some of yours? Studies show that alveoli in geriatric citizens are up to 50 percent less effective than younger people (citation need). Do we need to shun inefficient lungs necessary similar to the way our society shuns inefficient cars and their drivers? As the planet becomes more crowded, this topic may come to the forefront of societies issues. President Barak Obama has already released a statement from the Whitehouse saying: “ limiting inefficient breathers is the next challenge for the United States”. This foreboding message could be a warning sign for those entering their “golden years” within the next 30 or 40 years.

Image Source: Seinfeld

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